As social creatures, we all want to feel seen and valued.
We call this connection
We thrive on meaningful connections with others, especially during difficult times. Strong support networks can help us overcome challenges with greater ease and enhance our overall sense of fulfilment and belonging.
Yet, with technology often dominating our interactions, we tend to overlook the value of genuine human connection. Countless studies have demonstrated that our relationships with others play a critical role in shaping our mental and physical health, and our overall happiness and productivity.
So, how can we cultivate and maintain strong human connections in today’s fast-paced and digitally-driven world?
There are 8 essential qualities we can nurture to harness the benefits of connection, both individually and in teams:
1. Authenticity
Truly knowing ourselves is the first step
It’s impossible to build genuine connections with others if we are not authentic with ourselves. This means knowing and accepting ourselves for who we are, including our strengths and weaknesses. It also means being open and honest with others, sharing our true selves instead of putting up a façade. By being authentic, we build trust with others and create a safe space for them to be authentic with us.
One underrated aspect of being authentic with ourselves is coming to the realisation that there is no ‘end state’; in his seminal TED talk, Dan Gilbert illuminates us on the ‘psychology of your future self’. Watch the video for yourself here, but to give away the punchline; humans are terrible at predicting our future selves. This means we must create a continual loop of self-reflection and feedback from others, to be sure we are remaining true to ourselves.
2. Integrity
Upholding our core values
Integrity is another essential quality for building and maintaining strong relationships. It means upholding our core values, even when faced with challenging or uncertain situations. Having integrity allows others to trust us and know that we will always do what we believe is right, regardless of the circumstances.
3. Humility
The foundation for connection
Making ourselves open to others enables us to maintain stronger personal and professional relationships. We don’t always need to be “right” for the sake of it, but we can maintain what leadership expert Jim Collins calls “high humility, yet fierce resolve” for the things we believe in.
4. Vulnerability
Being open about our true feelings (positive or negative)
This is the gateway to deepening our connection with others and taking our relationships to the next level. When we do this well, we can build momentum in being open and sharing with others and create a safe space for others to do the same. This comes with an important caveat from Brene Brown: “Vulnerability minus boundaries…is not vulnerability”. We will always need to assess what level and subject of vulnerability are in your best interests, at any given time.
5. Compassion
Supporting others and giving back
By showing compassion, we create a sense of shared humanity and find common ground with others. It’s an eminently teachable quality; by leading by example, we can encourage others to do the same.
Compassion is the KPI of connection because seeing someone’s compassion in action is often a reflection of their ability to connect with a wide range of people. Mark Winter
6. Gratitude
Showing a genuine appreciation and thankfulness for what we do have in life
In a society that often pushes us towards competition and yearning for more, gratitude is a commendable skill. However, it’s important to avoid the emerging trend of “toxic positivity”, where we ignore or actively dismiss the role of negative emotions in our lives (often with overly or inappropriately positive sentiments).
Instead, applied gratitude means acknowledging our pain while still seeing the best in what we still have. There are some situations in our lives that are upsetting, painful and downright heartbreaking. Chances are, what we can consistently be grateful for, are those we truly connect with. By being grateful we also deepen our connections with them.
7. Being present
Truly being aware and ‘savouring’ the point of time and situation we are in
Socially, this presents as active listening and putting our digital tools down to engage fully with those around us (or at least minimise their use). Being present has become the universal ‘stretch goal’ for all of us in modern times, so giving our full attention to people we want to connect with signals that we value them.
8. Collaborative mindset
To enhance learning and embrace challenges
A collaborative and growth mindset means fostering a love of learning and resilience. Adopting this mindset can enhance our collective and individual abilities to respond to challenges and change. Carol Dweck describes it as the belief that one’s basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work.
By embracing a growth mindset collaboratively, we can encourage each other to learn and enhance our abilities to respond to challenges.
Establishing meaningful human connections is not a one-time task; it requires continuous effort, self-reflection, and feedback from others. Build a Better Normal
It’s crucial to understand that it’s not about perfection. It’s okay to have disconnected hours or days, but we need to ensure that it doesn’t become weeks or months.
By taking small steps every day, we can see significant improvements in the quality of our connections over time.
Remember, building and maintaining relationships is an ongoing process that requires intention and effort, but the benefits of genuine human connection are worth it.
